10. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Shout,"get off, get off!"
9. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "relaxing into the fall". Roll lithely into a ball and spring to your feet.
8. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write a $200.00 dollar check without even looking down!
7. Jog long distances carrying a halter and carrot. Go ahead and tell your neighbors what your doing - they might as well know now!
6. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling to a halt. Smile as if your having fun.
5. Hone your fibbing skills, "See hon, moving hay bales is FUN!" and "No really, I'm glad your lucky performance and multimillion dollar horse won the blue ribbon. I am just thankful that my hard work and actual ability won me second place."
4. Sprinkle your hair and jacket with hay, completing your outfit as if you had been to the barn.
3. Borrow the US army's slogan; Be All You Can Be - bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled, frozen, wet...
2. Lie down in a puddle of mud in your most expensive riding cloths and repeat to yourself, "this is a learning experience, this is a learning experience, this is...."
1. The number one exercise to become a better equestrian- Marry money!
