Tuesday, December 22, 2009

I Hung Up My Bridle Today

by Kris Garrett

Yesterday, for the first time, I was too tired to ride.
Yesterday, for the first time, I was afraid I would be hurt if I was thrown.
Yesterday, for the first time, I heard someone say my barn was too shabby.
Yesterday, for the first time, I let someone tell me I was too pudgy to ride.
Yesterday, for the first time, I realized I was old.
Yesterday, for the first time, I had to face that I could no longer keep up.
Yesterday, for the first time, I had to let go of my dreams.
Yesterday, for the first time, I felt my heart break.
Yesterday, for the first time, I turned my back on my friend.
Yesterday, for the first time, I knew I was done.

Today, for the last time, I felt warm, braided leather in my hands.
Today, for the last time, I ran my stirrups up so they wouldn't bang my mare's sides.
Today, for the last time, I released the buckles on the girth and watched my girl sigh.
Today, for the last time, I slowly dropped the bit so it wouldn't hit her teeth.
Today, for the last time, I gave my mare a cookie to thank her for the ride.
Today, for the last time, I buried my head in her soft, warm neck.
Today, for the last time, I inhaled the sun and the dust in her long winter coat.
Today, for the last time, I closed the gate and trudged to the muddy porch.
Today, for the last time, I tracked hay and horse hair into my house.
Today, for the last time, I pulled off my boots and felt the sting of warm blood returning to my cold toes.

Today, for the first time, I cried after my ride.
Today, for the first time, I felt my hands shake as I set the saddle on its rack.
Today, for the first time, I hugged my young trainer a final goodbye.
Today, for the first time, I waited for the new owner's trailer to arrive.
Today, for the first time, I set my boots in a box to go to the Goodwill.
Today, for the first time, I sighed at the wear on my riding gloves.
Today, for the first time, I had no hay in my hair.
Today, for the first time, I did not hear nickering when I opened my back door.
Today, for the first time, I felt worse leaving the barn that I did when I entered.
Today, for the first time, I had no one to check on before going to bed.

Tomorrow, for the first time, I won't have to buy hay.
Tomorrow, for the first time, I can stay in bed longer.
Tomorrow, for the first time, I won't see the poop pile grow.
Tomorrow, for the first time, I won't be able to fly on four legs.
Tomorrow, for the first time, I will be sorry I listened.
Tomorrow, for the first time, I will regret letting her go.
Tomorrow, for the first time, I will be angry at God.
Tomorrow, for the first time, I will be angry at myself.
Tomorrow, for the first time, I will cry the day away.
Tomorrow, for the first time, I will be glad to die.

Day after tomorrow, for the first time, I will awaken in tears.
Day after tomorrow, for the first time, I will know I was wrong.
Day after tomorrow, for the first time, I will defy all the judgment.
Day after tomorrow, for the first time, I will ignore my old bones.
Day after tomorrow, for the first time, I will return the buyer's check.
Day after tomorrow, for the first time, I will bring my friend home.
Day after tomorrow, for the first time, I will take my boots out of the box.
Day after tomorrow, for the first time, I will be reborn.

For the rest of my life, I will have a horse in my yard.
For the rest of my life, I will ignore the ignorant judging.
For the rest of my life, I will watch the poop pile grow.
For the rest of my life, I will have hay in my hair.
For the rest of my life, I will track mud in my house.
For the rest of my life, I will bury my face in her soft neck.
For the rest of my life, I will let my soul fly.
For the rest of my life, I will never be alone.